beautifulusa.info

-Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.

-Doing it right the first time is unappreciated. Trying 6 times to get it right is job security.

-The beatings will continue until morale improves.

-The light at the end of the tunnel may be a train heading in your direction.

-Accept that some days you’re the pigeon and some days you’re the statue.

-I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

-On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

-I don’t suffer from stress. I’m the carrier.

-Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

-I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sounds they make as they go flying by.

-This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.

-I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

-There is always one more son-of-a-bitch than you counted on.

-There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

-You can’t tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.

-The facts, although they may be interesting, are irrelevant.

-The careful application of terror is a form of communication.

-Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the rest of the world.

-Friends may come and go but enemies accumulate.

-I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense.

-If you think there is good in everyone, you haven’t met everyone.

-If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

-By the time you can make ends meet, they change the ends.

-The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

-If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

-For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

-He who hesitates is probably right.

-Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

-Eagles may soar, but weasels aren’t sucked into jet engines.

(thanks to the folks over at tip list for these funny stupid thoughts)