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This is one of those posts where you have to be “in” on the joke so to speak….so in order to understand what this post is all about,you must be Ugandan…because only Ugandans……….

1. Are engaged for five years or more.

2. Never bother to divorce, they just separate.

3. Are late to church, work, and everything else EXCEPT when the disco is free before 9 p.m.

4. Refer to diabetes as ’sugar’.

5. Show up at weddings, showers, graduation, and birthday parties in a new outfit with nails and hair done but no gift.

6. In relation to #5, they eat like crazy and take a plate home.

7. Consider “clubbing” or “hanging” as a monthly expense.

8. Leave bills (instead of insurance money) behind for surviving relatives.

9. Borrow money for a wedding.

10. Have mothers who can use curse words and religion ALL IN ONE SENTENCE, like - Lord, give me strength because I am about to knock the hell out of this child.

11. Spend the car insurance money on everything EXCEPT getting the dent fixed.

12. Invite co-workers and all their friends to their child’s first birthday party, which happens to have a professional DJ with only about three kids (including the child) in attendance.

13. Start every sentence with “Me I…” For example, “Me I donno why you are saying that I always say ‘Me I’.”

14. Say ’spend’ when they are staying the night elsewhere from home.Example: Are you going to spend the night at her place?

15. Put iron rods in all windows and main doors…referring to them as “burglars”.

16. Use “Kyoka” as an exclamation mark. Example:Kyoka, what are you doing?

17. Believe “Anti” is an English word for “Because”

18. Think it is cool to drink and drive and get away with it - “I don’t know how I got home that day?the way I was soo drunk!”

19. Think all their economic and social problems are caused by “Museveni” when in fact some have never been to school.

20. Pack up all their earthly goods to go to kyalo (village) for a week in December, only to pack them all back again after that one week and return to tao (town).

21. Call travelling “flying out”.Example: She flew out (no one ever seems to wonder where all these Ugandans
fly to).

22. Think that taking a clerical job in a company is better than toiling in their parents’ family business.

23. Prefer washing cars and dishes in the USA to toiling in their 20-acre tea farms in Uganda.

24. Call their homes “at ours”.example: At ours, we eat tooke every day.

25. Complain for five years about poor governance and corruption then vote the same clowns back to Parliament.

26. Go on strike for one day and expect the government to resign!

27. Sit back in their homes and expect their MP to “bring Development”.

28. Refuse to insure against anything and expect you to bankroll them when calamity strikes… through fundraisings (read begging meetings).

29. Sit calmly and sometimes cheer as a mad man drives them in a ramshackle taxi at breakneck speed to certain death.

30. Drive with their windows wound up when they get to the city centre because of 4-year-old brats armed with
human faeces, and still claim to be free people!