Contribution by Paula Gonzales
I have the same game plan every New Year’s Eve. I eat dinner with my wife, get dressed, enjoy a glass of wine, set my home security alarm (click), and walk down the street to Pauly’s house.
Pauly is an interesting character. Even though he’s 40 years old, he still thinks he’s in the mob. I thought that act was cool in high school, but not anymore. That said, he’s still a riot. Every New Year’s Eve he tells these crazy stories that if they were true, he would either be in prison for life or in the witness protection program. One story was about how he impersonated an undercover police officer in order to pull over a UPS truck a few days before Christmas. He said him and his buddies unloaded the truck and put all the boxes into a U-Haul truck they rented. Supposedly, they then sold all the items separately online. I know this story isn’t true for a few reasons. One, Pauly loves to be the center of attention. Two, if the story were true, he wouldn’t tell everyone about it. And three, when I asked him where this happened, he said it was on the LIE in New Jersey. We both live in Seattle and he thinks I’m originally from North Carolina. I lived in NC prior to Seattle, but I grew up on Long Island. The Long Island Expressway (LIE) is on Long Island; it’s not in New Jersey. But I still smile and pretend to believe his stories. Why not?